"Best Idea Ever!"

Sweet Freedom

2009-05-08T03:07:00.001-04:00

I've spent the last 6 hours unpacking, and I'm finally done. I suppose I've only removed minimal quantities of stuff from the boxes I brought it home in, but the quantity of stuff littering my floor had reached critical mass, and I was struck with the urge to clean. It's a rare urge.

So I finally got around to cleaning out my closet, and then promptly packed it full of old computers again. I put almost all of my old, too-small clothes in trash bags to be sold at a yard sale sometime in the future, and I need to go shopping for new clothes sometime soon. This is apparently a painful experience for anyone who accompanies me, because I am told I am extremely picky. I'm not sure why, I just refuse to dress like a douchebag. Also, I am told is not appropriate to express one's desire to be smoking an expensive cigar on a tropical beach through one's clothes. So farewell, silk shirts. You will be missed.

I've realized that I've filled an entire shelf with rulebooks for games I will likely never play again, and I cannot bring myself to box them up. Ditto for the shelf I've filled with books of a genre I will likely never read again. Speaking of those games though, while cleaning my closet I found a manila folder filled with AD&D 2nd ed. character sheets from many years ago. They we're the character sheets for the first (and last) D&D campaign I tried running over AOL. After a bit of digging, I found the logs from the only two sessions on an old HDD. The party consisted of Ryan, Justin, Robbie, Andrew, Alex, and Todd. I don't feel like uploading them now, but I will in a bit.

I've procrastinated the second half of this post for about 3 hours now. I'll see if I can't remember what it was supposed to be later.

Minor note, I'm an RA now. I was placed on the alternate list months ago, but one of the previous RA's resigned, and I got his spot. I have to move in two weeks early for training, but I get reimbursed for the cost of my room and board.

Insubstantial Updates!

2009-05-04T15:15:00.002-04:00

It's been a busy week since I last posted, but I haven't come up with a particular topic for this post.

learned how to make stencils from images. Spent a day making an insignia that's going on my new computer. Wondering if I should texture it somehow.

Filled out a bunch of job applications for the summer. I kind of need money for the aforementioned computer.

Have an interview set up at Wal Mart next Monday. I'm excited to be working at Wal Mart, that's how much I want a job. Or a new computer.

A special thanks goes out to Justin, who mentioned Arrested Development at some point before his untimely demise. His demise would only have been untimely because he would not yet have introduced me to Arrested Development. He is now free to demise anytime he wishes. I'm on the second season now.

Downloaded and watched a bunch of Sci-Fi movies I've been meaning to watch for a long time. Andromeda Strain, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and The Ninth Gate. Also downloaded what I assume is the complete works of H.P. Lovecraft, but I'm slow on reading those.

Started reading Prelude to Foundation by Aasimov, only to discover that it's not actually the first book chronologically in his universe. Was despondent that I failed to check that before skipping over the book that was the first, as I hate reading things out of order. But I am generally a fan of Aasimov since I read Nemesis last summer.

I am not a fan of finals week. Rocked my Calc III exam, and I'm glad to be done with it for ever. Seriously this time. I mean it. Do not believe I did that well on Survey of American Lit. Passable, but not good.

In order to keep my pitiful scholarship, I needed to raise my grades by one letter in every class from my midterm grades. I don't think this is going to happen, but I do qualify for grant moneys now that Ryan is going to college.

Birthday is in one month. Cash or personal checks accepted.

History as it Should Have Been

2009-04-23T02:40:00.000-04:00

I love the History Channel.

As a history major, it is obviously necessary that I should be up to date on all the latest historical theories and discoveries. This is why I watch The History Channel as frequently as possible. It takes the funding of high powered advertising, and uses it to relay professional and academic thought to the people at the speed of television.

Like how the Nazis had UFOs.

Yes, this was new to me too. I had no idea that the Nazis possessed UFO technology. But thanks to the investigative journalism of Dr. Dark Glasses and his intrepid lackey, not to forget his token pussy-skeptic in the style of Alan Colmes, I now know that the Nazis were developing UFO technology, which would have helped them drop nuclear weapons. They were mere months away from completing their experiments, when they lost the war. Hitler and Eva Braun killed themselves in Hitlers bunker, and Germany surrendered shortly thereafter.

Or so I thought!

According to the History Channel, some scholars believe that Hitler escaped Germany in a submarine, which retreated to his Antarctic base. From there, he met up with a subterranean master race he had been in contact with, and he has traveled with them ever since, unobserved and immortal (just like Neils Bohr). Who knows when he may strike again.

Obviously, the History Channel decided that history was pretty boring, and they'd already done a 60-minute special on everything. Somewhere in the last 3 years, they decided they were less about being "The History Channel," and more about "The History-as-it-Should-Have-Been Channel." I'm not entirely sure I support this change; it's difficult for me to switch between South Park and some Cryptozoology show, and decide which one is a better mockery of society. I can either watch the boys run away to Somalia to become pirates, or I can watch a Florida man with over 40 hours of high-quality video footage of a "new creature" (that he did not shoot) entice at least 4 college professors into thinking it is not a manatee.

For what it's worth, at least I'll have something better to teach my students.

Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Wearer

2009-04-21T21:39:00.004-04:00

I did a blost on my own blog about this subject, but I thought here, I should at least do a small tribute to Rusty.

I blosted about Bud Light's marketing campaign, "The Real Men Of Genius" Commercials. Just thought that I should put the one that is a, well, not a direct tribute to Rusty, but close. Unfortunately, I can't find the one I'm looking for on Imeem, the site I use to find music and the rest of the commercials I used. So regrettably, rather than the nice player I usually employ, you're going to have to click a link. I don't really care at this point.

Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer

I couldn't help but think of Rusty, who for several months back in high school, he wore a Hawaiian shirt everyday. We would have probably had a Hawaiian Christmas, had we not made fun of him 'til he developed self esteem issues, and didn't don a Hawaiian shirt in public for many, many months.

Oh, Rusty...

Also, another one I found fitting, especially after we found this picture of Rusty's alter ego on the internet:

It kind of looks like him, or what he would look like if we mixed him with the fat hobbit from Lord of The Rings.

Anyways, the link to the other song dedicated to Rusty.

Mr. Sad Country Song Songwriter

An Annoyingly Self-Indulgent Retrospective

2009-04-17T00:56:00.006-04:00

I recently had the opportunity to read some things I had written quite a long time ago. A journal of sorts woven between old notebooks and school worksheets; a collage of doodles and blurbs that when assembled chronologically, paint a detailed picture of absolutely fucking nothing. Then there was the actual journal that I found, nestled away in some folders on my first computer. After reading through two years of roughly bi-weekly entries, I can safely say that I have no clue what was going on in my head.

Maybe it's a sort of selective perception, where I only remember the moments where I wasn't particularly a total ass. This might explain why most of high school has become a blur. I'm certain I wasn't much different outwardly then as opposed to now, but that might be because I never noticed before this retrospective. In my private life, I can no longer recognize my motivations for doing have the things I did, nor half the things I said.

On the other hand, I can't outright admonish them. I trust that at the time, In whatever mindset I was in, they were appropriate. Much like how the insanity plea is still a guilty plea, I'm not saying I wasn't wrong in a broader sense. I'm reminded in a way of those interview questionnaires that ask, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Except in this case it's, "Where do you see yourself five years ago?" In all honestly, I'm not terribly fond of who I was 5 years ago.

In fact, I think it's fair to say that I'll always dislike the person I was five years ago. Not that I can actually remember the particulars of what I was like five years ago, but the gist of it seems pretty embarrassing to me. I mean, I actually took pride in being generally unlikable and/or unknown. I have to wonder (and I really do) if the hobbies I had at the time were undertaken in general interest, or simply to perpetuate the introverted ego I had I created. Did I really want to be a computer programmer because I liked writing code (and did I?), or because it wasn't that far removed from what I was already doing?

Dungeons and Dragons for example was always fun, but I'll be damned if I ever played in or ran more than two sessions with the same party. I genuinely enjoyed the background of Warhammer 40,000, but I can't remember enjoying a single actual game. I recall being totally incredulous when my Dad told me years ago that he played D&D for a while when he was in high school. He never seemed like the kind of person who would play, but I guess that's because he's not anymore. Neither am I.

I think that people are motivated to change in two possible ways: They are either propelled by a desire to change who they were in the past, or a desire to meet a certain ideal in the future. Rear-wheel drive vs. front-wheel drive. Which is better in the long run - constantly scrutinizing yourself the day prior, or holding on to some future ideal?

I can say that I'm not the same person anymore, but that change is so insubstantial that it almost seems silly to even acknowledge it. Yet I imagine that if I were to meet my 5-year-younger-self, he'd hate who I've become. That makes me feel good.

A Thorough Analysis of the Homeostatic Climate of Regressed Umbilical Apendages

2009-04-15T00:26:00.005-04:00

Russell: considering writing a blog post on how much I hate this semester
Russell: but it seems redundant
Justin: yeah i hate this semester also
Justin: so i would support your decision
Russell: I might instead write an article about how belly buttons always smell weird
Russell: I am assuming this is a universal phenomenon
Justin: uh...my support is less enthusiastic
Justin: how much could you actually say about it?
Russell: oh don't get me started
Russell: I could run studies.
Russell: empirical studies, of which the veracity could not be denied
Russell: I would, too
Russell: I almost changed my major to veterinary sciences
Russell: just so I could write a masters thesis entitled, "How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?"
Justin: that's wonderful
Russell: in which I would analyze the muscular structure of woodchucks, and evaluate their lifting capacity
Russell: and plot that against a logarithmic chart detailing muscle growth over extended periods of wood chucking
Russell: so don't even get me started on belly buttons.

Messin' With Rusty

2009-04-13T23:30:00.003-04:00

We are way too easily amused. We just spent the last fifteen minutes on AIM, syncing our chats with Rusty, in order to confuse him. He assumed that our screen names were linked before he came to the conclusion that we just might be screwing with him. To give him credit, it only took him eight whole minutes to figure out that we were indeed messing with him. Still, this has inspired us to at some point, make a parody video of that old commercial, "Messin' With Sasquatch", in which we will be "Messin' With Rusty". We don't even have to change the premise either, we could just be driving along, when we see Rusty walking along the side of the road, and offer him a ride, and then pull away when he reaches for the handle. He will not, however, be seen beating the shit out of us at the end. For that, we have stock footage of Andrew.

Messin' With Rusty

2009-04-13T23:30:00.000-04:00

Brief Promise

2009-04-13T01:05:00.006-04:00

I'm going back out to California again this summer, for nine days. Danielle, Ryan and I will be flying out July 2nd. I guess we'll do all the stuff I usually do out there, but maybe this time I'll actually have pictures. I'll elaborate on things later.

Here's the promise: when we drive back to LAX, we'll pass through Santa Barbara during the day sometime. I'm going to lay a dozen roses against Madison's Grill. Next to the roses will be a card which will read, "Fuck you guys." I will take a picture. Only a few will get it, and they'll probably get self-righteous.

Unrelated Note: I'm now a contributor to Taylor and Ben's blog, Remaking Memories. You can find the link in the sidebar. I'm not sure what exactly I'm contributing, since I've always had enough trouble managing one blog. I guess I'm a little more famous now. Likewise, Taylor and Ben have both been invited to contribute here. Considering the Blog Trifecta was my idea to begin with, I'm not sure why I feel all wet-footy.

Calculus III

2009-04-09T16:10:00.002-04:00

or,

How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the B.

It took me three tries to love Calculus III. Three times I've taken the class, three times I've passed the class, and three times I've put almost no effort or energy into the class. Finally, I'll be able to put this scourge behind me and carry on with my life.

I first took Calculus III in High School, for no better reason than that I could. Had I stopped to consider what an embarrassment I had been to Mrs. Gilbert the year before, or whether I really cared about math anymore, I might not have taken the class. In Calculus II I had the distinct honor of being the first student in years to perform worse on the Calculus BC test than Mrs. Gilbert predicted, and this made me something of a pariah in Calculus III (I blame my rampant summer allergies for my inability to get better than a 3+5). Not once was I called on for an answer, and I was rarely chastised for sleeping. Gilbert even gave me an award at the end of the year for sleeping so much. I wound up getting a C.

Ironically, I took extremely diligent notes.

Escaping that class with a C, my plans for college turned on their head and I found myself going to Frederick Community College for a semester. I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking at the time, but I signed up to take Calculus III again. Maybe I just wanted college credit for a High School class I took, maybe I thought it would be a breeze, maybe I needed 12 credits and everything else was taken. I greatly underestimated the pain of taking a math course taught by a rocket scientist.

Rocket scientists are inherently humorless automatons of number-crunching. If you want evidence of this, you need look no further than television. I know just as well as anyone else that TV is hardly an accurate reflection of reality, so much as it is a series of sexed-up fairy tales. Even the news programs. Especially the news programs. In this magical land of manly men and sexy women, neurologists are portrayed as swarthy pinnacles of masculinity. Cosmologists are either bearded men in sports jackets with deep scratchy voices, likely from smoking authentic Cohibas; or stylish young Asian men without accents. Rocket scientists are black and white, and occasionally have bow ties.

I suspect that this image comes from NASA's rapidly shrinking budget following the moon landing. It's kind of a sick cycle that reinforces itself with a constant failure to do anything cool in space. Though to the modern day rocket scientists' credit, it must be awfully hard to get into space with astrolabes and black powder.

Anyways, taking Calculus III at FCC was a nightmare. My class met so soon after I got off work that I was frequently late, even after speeding the entire way there, and working an eternally busy day shift left me drained. I frequently fell asleep in class. Also, for some reason I don't quite understand, half the material covered was completely different from when I had taken it before, and this caught me off guard. For all my slacking, this earned me a D. I was convinced I would get a C, having monitored my grade all year, but apparently the final decided I was wrong. Technically though, a D is passing - it makes a better story when I say, "I'm passing this class for the third time."

Which brings me to this year. I'm taking this stupid class yet again, because during course registration I was confident I would be able to keep my scholarship for ever and ever. This required me to use Shepherd's academic forgiveness policy, which allows me to replace a grade I earned within the first 60 credits of my college experience by retaking it. This year though, I'm tracked to get a B, without trying any more than I have before. In fact, I'm arguably trying less, as this course is taught in a computer lab. I wake up at 7am every morning to play Minesweeper and browse the interwebs and blagosphere.

I've never hated Calculus, but I'll be glad to get this out of the way once and for all.

First!

2009-04-08T02:25:00.003-04:00

I've spent many an idle moment the last week debating (on Taylor's suggestion) whether or not I should start a blog. The initial cause of my debate was the dearth of potential content, though once I decided to start a blog it was the details that held me back. The details always fuck me over. Now it is ever so early in the morning, and I have chosen to write a blog post over completing a Calculus III assignment due today at 8am.

I have done dumber things.

Ironically, as I sit here pondering each successive word in this post my mind is flooded with a wealth of things I'd like to write about. Inevitably, they will be gone from my head by morning. To write them down would be folly, because no matter how I write it I will still forget the letter of the topic, if not the spirit.

Admittedly, this blog was supposed to be the start of a grand plot to either start Nerdtopia 2.0, or squash this new "blogging" trend amongst my (formerly) devoted forumites. The idea was that I would guest write for other blogs, and their authors would guest write for mine until the end result was a series of blogs so deeply intertwined that they would have to merge or die. We will have to see how that goes. In the meantime, I guess you should check in regularly, for I will occasionally write something worth reading.